Translating the lyrics

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Translating the lyrics

Postby yuta » Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:35 pm

We (I and oneofprfmfansinjpn and jigenbakuda and so on) are translating the lyrics of perfume's songs in a topic called "I'm Japanese. Are there any questions about Perfume?".

But because I think translating lyrics is not real purpose of the topic, I posted a new topic.

So from now on, please discuss translation here. :bravo:


By the way, I'm trying to translate "Electro World" into English.



to OPDJ
I'm sorry to change without your permission.
勝手に場所変えてごめんねー :(
Last edited by yuta on Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Translating lyrics

Postby sytotic » Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:31 pm

Wow! Thanks alot for translating the lyrics, people like myself can't understand japanese that well can finally get to enjoy Perfume's music fully! Hmm, wasn't Electro World already translated?
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby yuta » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:22 pm

I finished translating "Electro World". :bravo:
Too fast? :D
Haha...I really was enjoying translating.
It was easier to translate it than wonder2.
Here, please tell me if there are anything that should be corrected.
I'm looking forward your correction.


エレクトロ・ワールド
electro world
Electro World

1
この道を走り進み進み進み続けた
kono michi wo hashiri susumi susumi susumi tsuzuketa
I kept running along this road, forward, forward, forward.

2
地図に書いてあるはずの町が見当たらない
chizu ni kaite aru hazu no machi ga miataranai
I can't find the town that sure is drawn in a map.

3
振り返るとそこに見えていた景色が消えた
furikaeruto sokoni mieteita keshiki ga kieta
Looking back, the scenery I was able to see vanished.

4
この世界僕が最後で最後最後だ
kono sekai boku ga saigo de saigo saigo da
In this world, I am last, last, last.

5
エレクトロワールド地面が震えて砕けた空の太陽が落ちる
electro world jimen ga huruete kudaketa sora no taiyou ga ochiru
Electro World. The ground shaked and broke down. The sun in the sky falls

6
僕の手にひらりと
boku no te ni hirarito
to my hand lightly.


7
本当のことに気づいてしまったの
hontou no koto ni kizuite simattano
I have realised the truth,

8
この世界の仕組みキミに手紙残すよ
kono sekai no shikumi kimi ni tegami nokosuyo
the mechanism of this world. I'll leave you a letter.

9
ああ...oh yeh エレクトロワールド
aa...oh yeh electro world
Aa...oh yeh Electro World

10
街ゆく猫だって空を飛んじゃう街で
machiyuku neko datte sora wo tonjau machi de
In the town where there are cats flying the town,

11
キミの存在さえリアリティーがないんだよ
kimino sonzai sae riarityity ga naindayo
even your presence has no reality.

12
ああ...oh yeh エレクトロワールド
aa...oh yeh electro world
Aa...oh yeh Electro World

13
見えるものの全てが触れるものの全てが
mierumono no subete ga fureru mono no subetega
All I can see and all I can touch

14
リアリティーがないけど僕は確かにいるよ
riarity ga naikedo boku wa tashikani iruyo
have no reality, but I surely exist.


15
この道を走り進み進み進み続けた
kono michi wo hashiri susumi susumi susumi tsuzuketa
I kept running along this road, forward, forward, forward.

16
地図に書いてあるはずの町が見当たらない
chizu ni kaite aru hazu no machi ga miataranai
I can't find the town that sure is drawn in a map.

17
振り返るとそこに見えていた景色が消えた
furikaeruto sokoni mieteita keshiki ga kieta
Looking back, the scenery I was able to see vanished.


18
この世界僕が最後で最後最後だ
kono sekai boku ga saigo de saigo saigo da
In this world, I am last, last, last.


19
エレクトロワールド地面が震えて砕けた空の太陽が落ちる
electro world jimen ga huruete kudaketa sora no taiyou ga ochiru
Electro World. The ground shaked and broke down. The sun in the sky falls

20
僕の手にひらりと
boku no te ni hirarito
to my hand lightly.


21
この世界のスイッチ押したのは誰なの
kono sekai no suitti osita nowa darenano
Who is it that switched on this world?

22
あああもうすぐ消えるエレクトロワールド
Aaa mousugu kieru electro world
Aaa, it will vanish soon. Electro World.
Last edited by yuta on Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby sentinel011 » Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:00 pm

I've edited some translations on your Electro World:

地図に書いてあるはずの町が見当たらない
chizu ni kaite aru hazu no machi ga miataranai
The town that was supposed to be in the map could not be found

街ゆく猫だって空を飛んじゃう街で
machiyuku neko datte sora wo tonjau machi de
In the town where cats are flying about on the streets,

There's something weird with the grammar of these sentences that I can't quite grasp:

この道を走り進み進み進み続けた
kono michi wo hashiri susumi susumi susumi tsuzuketa
I kept running along this road, forward, forward, forward.

振り返るとそこに見えていた景色が消えた
furikaeruto sokoni mieteita keshiki ga kieta
Looking back, the scenery I was able to see vanished.

Sorry I wasn't able to help, but Jingai seems to be handling it better than I would try to at that point of time.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby oneofprfmfansinjpn » Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:16 am

願いはそういう解釈もあるのか…
うちは二人の関係を重視したんだけど

一緒にやるのは賛成かなあ
いずれ翻訳スレ建てようと思ってたので逆によかったw
jigenbakudaさんにこっち来てもらうように頼んだよ

I've been running more and more and more on this road.
I can't find the city that should be on the map.

In this world, I'm last of the last at the end.

I realized the truth,
the mechanism of this world. I'll leave you a letter (about it).
In the city where even a cat on the street flies,

The sun in the sky falls to my hands lightly.

Who was it that pushed the switch of this world?

How about these?
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby jigenbakuda » Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:39 am

Okay I brought my corrections to this thread. Once again, you two guys are amazing, I hope that we can continue to work together!

My corrections are in the parenthesis (), so you can give your opinion, or ask me about anything I changed.

1
こっそり秘密をあげるわ
Kossori himitsu wo ageru wa
Secretly/stealthly I'll give you my secret.
(I'll give you my secret, in secret)
2

ずっと好きにしていいのよ
Zutto suki ni shite ii noyo
You can treat it as you like forever.
(You may do as you wish with it, forever)

3
きっとキミも気に入るよ
Kitto kimi mo kin ni iru yo
I'm sure that you'll like

4
二人だけの特等席
Futari dake no tokutouseki
the special seats for two of us.
(The special seats for the two of us)

5
ちょっぴり運命みたいな
Choppiri unmei mitaina
It's sometimes allowed a little for a person like you/me who wouldn't believe destiny/fortune to feel such a thing, isn't it?
(Sometimes a person who doesn't believe in fate is allowed to feel like this, right?)

6
キャラにもないようなことも
Kyara nimo nai youna koto mo
Didn't translate this line
( also not like the color)

7
感じたっていいじゃないの
Kanjitatte ii janai no
Didn't translate this line
(That feeling was good, wasn't it?)

8
誰か書いたシナリオ?
Dare ga kaita shinario?
Who wrote this scenario?

9
まだ この先が見えない
Mada kono saki ga mienai
I can't see what lies ahead in future yet.
(I can't see what lies ahead)

10
一番星さがす 手が震えても
Ichibanboshi sagasu te ga furuetemo
Even if my hands tremble while searching for the first star,

11
*chorus
あきらめないで 大切な
Akirame naide taisetsuna
Don't give up! What's important is

12
すこしの意地と キミよダーリン
Sukoshi no iji to kimi yo daarin
a little patience and yourself, darlin'!

13
刺激的 ほらステキ
Shigekiteki hora suteki
It' exciting! Look, amazing/wonderful!
(It's exciting! Look, it's wonderful)

14
見える世界がきらめくわ
MIeru sekai ga kirameku wa
The world I see glitters
(The world that I see glitters)

15
手探りのあたしにも
Tesaguri no atashi nimo
(Even) though I'm trying (everything) by touch (now),
(Even though I'm trying my hardest to touch it)

16
すこしわかる気がしてるんだ
Sukoshi wakaru ki ga shiterunda
I feel I could realize/see/understand it a little.
(I feel I can understand it a little)

17
やわらかな キミのタイミング
Yawarakana kimi no taimingu
Your soft timing

18
ずるいでしょ チュチュチュ
Zuruidesho CHU CHU CHU
It's saucy, isn't it? CHU CHU CHU

19
love love the world
Rabu rabu za waarudo
love love the world

20
やっぱり チャンスをあげるわ
Yappari chansu wo ageruwa
I'll give you a chance again on second thought/after all.
(On second thought I'll give you another chance)

21
やっと見えたキミの隙間
Yatto mieta kimi no sukima
I managed to see an (empty and weak) opening inside you.
(I managed to see your weak point) Is "inside of you" important to the translation? I think that this gives the same feeling...

22
きっと一人で悩んで
Kitto Hitori de nayande
I'm sure that you're worrid alone about something,
(I'm sure that alone, you worry about something)

23
教えてくれていいんだよ
Oshiete kurete iindayo
but you can tell me anything, can't you?

24
ちょっぴり反省みたいな
Choppiri hansei mitaina
It's sometimes allowed a little for a person like you/me who wouldn't think over/again to do such a thing, isn't it?
(Sometimes a person who doesn't think it through is allowed to do this, right?)

25
キャラにもないようなことも
Kyara nimo nai youna koto mo
Didn't translate this line
( also not like the color)

26
たまにはいいじゃないの
tama niha ii janai no
Didn't translate this line
(Feels good every now and then, doesn't it?)

27
誰か書いたシナリオ?
Dare ga kaita shinario?
Who wrote this scenario?

28
まだ この先が見えない
Mada kono saki ga mienai
I can't see what lies ahead in future yet.
(I can't see what lies ahead in the future)

29
一番星さがす 手が震えても
Ichibanboshi sagasu te ga furuetemo
Even if my hands tremble while searching for the first star,

*chorus

30
Have a nice day!
Habu a naisu dei!
Have a nice day!

31
be in a good mood yeh!
Bii in a guddo muudo iee!
be in a good mood yeh!

32
in all the world
In ooru za waarudo
in all the world

33
喜びの中 まだ この先が見えない
Yorokobi no naka mada kono saki ga mienai
Though we're filled with/in joy, I can't see what lies ahead in future yet.
(Though we are filled with joy, I can't see what lies ahead)

34
一番星さがす 手が震えても
Ichibanboshi sagazu te ga furuetemo
Even if my hands tremble while searching for the first star,

*chorus

35
Have a nice day!
Habu a naisu dei!
Have a nice day!

36
be in a good mood yeh!
Bii in a guddo muudo iee!
be in a good mood yeh!

37
in all the world
In ooru za waarudo
in all the world

38
love the world
Rabu rabu za waarudo
love the world

Okay I numbered the lines, so its easier to talk about what lines have problems.

lines 6,7,25, and 26 were not translated. I gave a bad translation... very bad translations
(for myself). But of course I'm waiting on your translations.

Line 5 is hard. Very hard. I'm not sure what to do.

Line 24 is just as hard... I'm not sure I understand what it means, as part of the song.

Please tell me about line 21, I'm not sure if its the same feeling as you want. But I think it gives the same feel.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby oneofprfmfansinjpn » Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:59 am

OK,let's try line 5-7, and 24-26 first

It's sometimes allowed a little for a person like you/me who wouldn't believe destiny/fortune to feel such a thing, isn't it?
This is transration of line 5-7. We should regard 5-7 as one sentence, like:
ちょっぴり運命みたいなキャラにもないようなことも感じたっていいじゃないの
And We can devide it like this:

ちょっぴり感じたっていいじゃないの
It's allowed/OK/all right to feel (it) (if it is) a little, isn't it?
運命みたいなこと
things like fate
キャラにもないようなことも
things that a person, whose chara(cter) doesn't be tend to do it, wouldn't do
OR though it's not like my chara(cter)

line 24-26
ちょっぴり反省みたいなキャラにもないようなこともたまにはいいじゃないの

ちょっぴり(なら)たまにはいいじゃないの(This sentence isn't natural,so I add なら(if) only now)
It's sometimes allowed (if it's) a little, isn't it?
反省みたいなこと
things like thinking over/reflection (but I think reflection feels too strong in this line)
キャラにもないようなことも
things that a person, whose chara(cter) doesn't be tend to do it/ such a thing, wouldn't do
OR though it's not like my chara(cter)

The next is line 21

"inside of you" doesn't necessarily need, I think.
隙間(sukima), or 隙(suki) means narrow (sometimes oblong) space or room or unguarded moment that animals or something bad can go in and out.
We use 隙間(sukima) like:
心に隙間がある(kokoro no sukima ga aru), which means to have "sukima" in one's mind, or
to have a unguarded part in one's mind.
"weak point" is, of course, OK, but we have more proper expressions.
I think we need to use "weak".
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby yuta » Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:19 am

to oneofprfmfansinjpn
願いの歌詞はいろんな解釈が可能です。
そこが翻訳する上で最も難しいポイントですね。

to oneofprfmfansinjpn and sentinel011
Thank you for editing.
I numbered the lines as jigenbakuda did.

Now, jigenbakuda is editing oneofprfmfansinjpn's translation.
I think it is taugh for us to edit two translation (both Electro World and love the world) at the same time, so let's edit the translation of love the world for a while.
When it finished, please edit my translation of Electro World!
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby sentinel011 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:53 am

To jigenbakuda
I suppose non-native Japanese speakers have their limitations as well, and have yuta and oneofprfmfansinjpn to do confirmation of the editing.

I have a point to suggest for the translation of Line 21 for Love the World:

やっと見えたキミの隙間
Yatto mieta kimi no sukima
I managed to see an (empty and weak) opening inside you.
(I managed to see your weak point) Is "inside of you" important to the translation? I think that this gives the same feeling...

My version of the translation would be
'I have finally seen a weakness within you'.

Since やっと (yatto) means 'finally' or 'at last'.

So far the rest looks okay/I have no idea on how to paraphrase the other translations
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby yuta » Tue Dec 30, 2008 12:23 pm

I found a good word for "隙間".
How about "crack"?

To take sentinel011's idea into consideration,

"I have finally seen a crack of you"

How do you think?
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby sentinel011 » Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:04 pm

yuta wrote:I found a good word for "隙間".
How about "crack"?

To take sentinel011's idea into consideration,

"I have finally seen a crack of you"

How do you think?


If you have taken the following lyrics that follow on from that sentence, the lyrics pointed out on a person worrying about something. Therefore, it's more of a weakness rather than a crack, because the other party is feeling 'weak' because he/she is worried.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby oneofprfmfansinjpn » Tue Dec 30, 2008 2:56 pm

あーちょっぴり反省か、理解。ありがとうございます
crackはネイティブに言わせると不自然なのかな?

Yuta told me another way to interpret. I agreed with him:
たまにはいいじゃないの
It's sometimes allowed, isn't it?
ちょっぴり反省みたいなこと
things like thinking over/reflecting a little (but I think reflection feels too strong in this line)

To sentinel011
'I have finally seen a weakness within you' is good. Thank you!
But I think there is more proper word than weakness.
If we can't find any, we have no choice but adopt weakness or something similar to it.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby jigenbakuda » Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:41 pm

sentinel011 wrote:To jigenbakuda
I suppose non-native Japanese speakers have their limitations as well, and have yuta and oneofprfmfansinjpn to do confirmation of the editing.



What does this mean? I don't understand. Please explain it for me.


OOOhhhh, lol. Its 1 line! It makes sense now! It also makes it much easier to change.

lines 5-7
ちょっぴり感じたっていいじゃないの
It's allowed/OK/all right to feel (it) (if it is) a little, isn't it?
(If its a little, its fine to feel it, right?)


運命みたいなこと
things like fate


キャラにもないようなことも
things that a person, whose chara(cter) doesn't be tend to do it, wouldn't do
OR though it's not like my chara(cter)
(Things I wouldn't normally do)


line 24-26
ちょっぴり反省みたいなキャラにもないようなこともたまにはいいじゃないの

ちょっぴり(なら)たまにはいいじゃないの(This sentence isn't natural,so I add なら(if) only now)
It's sometimes allowed (if it's) a little, isn't it?
(If its a little, sometimes its fine, right?)


反省みたいなこと
things like thinking over/reflection (but I think reflection feels too strong in this line)
(Things like contemplating ) (Here is the definition for contemplate - to consider thoroughly; think fully or deeply about: to contemplate a difficult problem. This gives the feel of thinking over, but is not as "serious" as reflecting [in my opinion reflection is like meditation on your past actions, almost as intense as meditation])


キャラにもないようなことも
things that a person, whose chara(cter) doesn't be tend to do it/ such a thing, wouldn't do
OR though it's not like my chara(cter)
(Things I wouldn't normally do)

Line 21
やっと見えたキミの隙間
Yatto mieta kimi no sukima
I managed to see an (empty and weak) opening inside you.
(I finally see your Achilles heel)

Achilles heel is an english metaphor for "a fatal weakness in spite of overall strength". In short everything is strong, but this 1 weakpoint. For example a boss (rpg) being invincible everywhere but his right arm, then his right arm is his Achilles heel. Achillies heel gives the feel that there is only 1 weakness though... Is that fine? I really think it fits well. It is very similar to the "crack" that yuta mentioned. Crack gives the feel that everywhere is strong, but this one open place (the crack), so you can be hurt from this open place (the crack).

But if that doesn't work here are words that are similar to weakpoint

weakpoint synonyms:
failing
fault
weak spot
limitation
drawback
flaw

Okay tell me what you think of these changes. We can work together to find something that works for everyone. :yeah:

I am sorry that my english is hard to understand. I know that its hard to understand in this message, could you give me some advice to make my english easier to understand, yuta and 1 of perfume's fans in japan?
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby sentinel011 » Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:12 pm

To jigenbakuda

Basically, I mean that there will be some things in the Japanese language that is hard for a non-Japanese to understand, unless he/she is born in the country.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby yuta » Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:24 pm

No, your English is easy to understand.
But if I give you advice, long sentence is hard to understand for me.
However,because you don't use long sentence, it's very easy to understand!

"Contemplate"
It seems good for me.
But 反省(hansei) includes the meaning of looking back the past.
Does "contemplate" mean looking back the past?

Yes, I know the metaphor, "Achilles heel".
In Japan the episode is well known too, and there is a similar episode "弁慶の泣き所"(benkei no nakidokoro). "Benkei" is a name of a strong person in Kamakura era, and he has only one weekpoint. It is his shin.
But I think "crack" is better because "Achilles heel" is unfamiliar for me.
Do you often use "Achilles heel"?
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby jigenbakuda » Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:06 pm

Okay thanks sentinel, for the explanation.

@yuta

Contemplate usually does not mean thinking in the past. Its for thinking in the present or future. The only word I can think of with "thinking in the past" is reminisce. But this word is very similar to the concept of natsukashii, reminiscing is thinking (looking) back at good times. Reminisce is only used with pleasant memories. Would this be a better word?

Well I would say that Achilles heel is not common, but not rare. To anyone raised in america (I can only speak for america), the meaning of that phrase is understood immediately. But for an american Achilles heel has more un-written meaning than crack. If I could try to relate it to japanese, its like the word oppai. Just mentioning the word brings back feelings of childhood and warmth. Unlike chichi or maybe mune. They mean similar things, but oppai has more un-written meaning. I do not know japanese that well, but I tried to make it easier to understand... I might have failed, lol. But the meaning of the 2 words (crack and Achilles heel) are very similar, I would not feel bad if either is used. I just want you to understand why I chose that word. :)
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby MrPanda101 » Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:32 pm

I don't know if I'm allowed to ask in this thread,
But could someone please translate this video?
[._.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE8_u2ZhILc
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby jigenbakuda » Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:04 pm

MrPanda101 wrote:I don't know if I'm allowed to ask in this thread,
But could someone please translate this video?
[._.]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE8_u2ZhILc



I understand that you want this translated, and next time I would prefer if you please do not request for things other than lyrics to be translated here. You could make a new topic for a request like this. This thread is for the translation of perfume's lyrics. Of course I am not a translator, but I would prefer for this thread to be only about the lyrics.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby oneofprfmfansinjpn » Thu Jan 01, 2009 10:14 am

A happy new year!
My computer got well for the first time in 10 days or more, and after all I can use the internet with it!

Sometimes we can't figure out what you mean, but our misreading and misunderstanding is never caused by you. It's just that we need to read and understand what you say more carefully.
To make what you want to say more specific, you need to its exact definitation and an proper example to show how you use it., but the best way is to be simple, because we're non-natives.
But I can't help thinking this line itself makes it hard to understand. :wink:

"Achilles heel" is a popular saying in Japan too. But we use it only as the name of a body part.
As I saw yuta explain, I notice Achilles is Akiresu. Even I know Achilles! Thanks yuta! lol
If Achilles heel strikes the other Engilish natives, not in the U.S., as the original meaning (not a weak point, but something historic, which makes them feel it's something like Achiles heel itself or something similar),we shouldn't use it, I think.
Umm...I think "weak spot" is the best...How about you yuta?

yuta explained how we should interpret:

たまにはいいじゃないの
It's sometimes allowed, isn't it?
ちょっぴり反省みたいなこと
things like contemplating a little

Now I feel I misunderstood here...
Things I wouldn't normally do

Things we wouldn't normally do
I like this better. I feel Perfume says like "We didn't do so often, but if we try to, we can a little!"

Is the translation of love the world is to be done if we finish these lines? I can't believe it if so.
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Re: Translating the lyrics

Postby SweetDonuts » Thu Jan 01, 2009 9:51 pm

Wow, thanks a lot for translating the lyrics <3
I need to study Japanese more~~ D:
Sorry about this, but I'ma going to ahve to move the thread to Perfume muisc, because it's to do with the music :3.
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