The Weight of Kashiyuka’s Disappointment

A popular radio program from last November featuring an eye opening and heartwarming message that resonated with Japanese fans is now available in English. Following the Tokyodome performance last November, Perfume appeared on a radio program in which they wrote down their feelings coming out of the event on a blackboard and then discussed what impact that simple phrase had on them after hearing an outpouring of support.

Nocchi wrote “愛” or “love” to signify the amount of love she felt on stage from everyone around her; not just all 50,000 fans in attendance, but also A-chan and Kashiyuka, which helped ease her possible nervous feelings. A-chan wrote “夢は叶う” or “dreams come true.” She discussed how Tokyodome was like a dream; a selfish dream, but almost a necessary one to show that even leaders have to have goals to strive for when they’re at their very peak.

The touching sentiments of the two girls were wonderful, but the real passion came from Kashiyuka’s heartfelt “もっともっと” (more and more). Struggling to speak through her tears, Kashiyuka expressed frustration for the heartfelt and positive feelings she had heard on the radio that day from Perfume fans. She became so emotiotional for the outpouring of support because she herself didn’t feel like she performed to her level during the Tokyodome performance.

While few fans would take umbrage with her performance at Tokyodome, it was an expression that was eye opening. To hear her say she wanted to apologize to everyone for her performance can be a bit confusing, but her words on the surface aren’t as important as the meaning behind it. While the words express disappointment and sadness, the meaning of such words is so much more hopeful and uplifting.

It’s not hard to watch any given Perfume performance and notice the precision and professionalism for which Kashiyuka displays. She almost always seems to be the most focused of the three in any given song, and it makes the most sense she would in turn be the most scrutinizing of her performance. To hear that she was burdening herself with the feeling of undeserving praise, however, may be a bit frustrating to fans, but all the while, there’s a level of respect that grows in the will to get better.

Even though the message is now eight months old, it is still a valuable and important message; a key set of words anyone can use and one that shows just how fortunate Perfume fans are, to support a group that feels so fortunate and passionate about where they are. A message of disappointment is important and welcomed when it’s delivered in the sense Kashiyuka portrayed. It’s not about the disappointment, but rather, the feelings and intentions following the disappointment. For Kashiyuka, that is to work and get better.  For Perfume fans, it’s a message of hope to meet disappointment head on by working to overcome that frustration, even if there is nothing to be disappointed in.

Feel free to share your feelings on the forums or in the comment box. Because as Kashiyuka, alongside A-chan and Nocchi, work at improving themselves at their job, it becomes every Perfume fan’s job to improve as well in order to show an appropriate level of support.